


Was It So Wrong?

by Little_Me05



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Drug Use, F/M, Homophobic Language, M/M, POV Female Character, Sexual Content, Swearing, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:02:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Me05/pseuds/Little_Me05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, was it so wrong to enjoy those years?</p><p>Was wrong to believe those years were the best years of my life?</p><p>Is it fair to enjoy those years, while everyone else was living through hell?</p><p>Was it wrong for me to fall in love, while people were losing their loves?</p><p>Was it so wrong to be happy, when all happiness had prevailed?</p><p>Was it so wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There was once a time of change.

There was once of a time of love.

There was once a time freedom.

There was once a time for happiness.

But, all good things come to an end.

And, why is that you ask?

War.

War is a time a loss.

War is a time a misery.

So, was it so wrong to enjoy those years?

Was wrong to believe those years were the best years of my life?

Is it fair to enjoy those years, while everyone else was living through hell?

Was it wrong for me to fall in love, while people were losing their loves?

Was it so wrong to be happy, when all happiness had prevailed?

These were the questions I asked myself during that time.

I actually felt bad to have just a little happiness, while everyone else had suffered.

I felt like I had to suffer also, because everyone else was.

But, I didn't want to suffer.

I didn't have a reason to suffer.

I had my freedom.

I wasn't one the verge of dying.

After all, I was only was a kid.

Why would a child need to suffer in a time like this?

As a child, I didn't understand what had been going on.

I just knew that there was a war going on.

I knew that innocent people were dying everyday.

I just didn't understand why.

As a child, I saw the world the way I wanted to see it.

If I wanted to make everyone happy, I just could do it.

Just by using my head.

I could look past all the hurt faces of everyone around me and make them smile.

If wanted everything to be fine, it would be fine.

Just by using my head.

I could make believe that everything and everyone was just fine.

All children have that ability to make the world around them just disappear.

That's part of being a child.

I didn't understand what the war about until it was all over.

After all the pain and suffering was gone.

Then, I understood the reason why everyone was frowning.

And, why everyone was suffering.

Wars like to kill innocent people.

Wars like to consume everything sight.

Like it belongs to them.

But, all War is a bully that thinks they are being better than else.

Expect, it kills people that don't deserve to die.

Just because, War wants more than it can have.

Now, it time for you to hear my story about the war.

Let me tell you, it is not what you think it is.

My story is something that you would never going to expect.

And, my story starts in the year 1932.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's Harry 7th birthday and things don't go the way that she intended them to go. 
> 
> *Harry's A Female*

March 15, 1939: Nazis take Czechoslovakia

 

Today was a very important day.

Today was the day that I turned 7 years old.

Every year on my birthday, we would all go down to the lake.

My mother would let me swim with my siblings while she prepared the meal.

When the meal was ready, we would all have a nice dinner in our backyard.

After dinner, she would take me down to the toy store.

She would let me get one thing that I wanted.

That's the only present I would get.

But, it made me very happy to have that one gift. 

So, that morning I woke up very excited.

I got up really early and ran downstairs.

I couldn't wait to go swimming with my family and get my special gift.

"Mommy." I shouted around the house looking for her.

No reply.

I ran into the living room continuing my search.

"Mommy." I shouted once again.

My older brother, Louis , shushed me.

I looked down very hurt. 

Louis took my arm and pulled me out of the living room.

"Why did you shush me?" I asked with a pout on my face.

"Harry, I'm sorry, but we were listening to the radio. Something huge just happened." Louis said looking down at me.

I looked down in confusion.

"I know. It's my birthday!" I said innocently.

Louis smiled.

"Yes, it is. Are you excited for later?" Louis asked sitting onto a kitchen chair.

I nodded my head.

"That's good." Louis said with a grin as Zayn walked into the kitchen.

"What's good?" Zayn asked jumping into the conversation.

Louis rolled his eyes at Zayn.

"What did I do to you?" Zayn asked confused.

Louis shook his head.

"It's nothing, Zayn." Louis said with a secretive grin.

Zayn looked at Louis for a few seconds.

"I will never understand you, Louis Tomlinson." Zayn said shaking his head.

Louis shrugged his shoulders as Zayn walked away from him.

I sat in a chair quietly singing to myself.

Zayn put an arm around me.

"Why are you so smiley, Harry?" Zayn asked keeping his arm there.

"Today is my birthday." I said with an adorable smile.

Zayn looked over at Louis for a second.

It is?

Zayn mouthed to Louis.

Louis nodded his head at Zayn.

"Shit." Zayn mumbled under his breath.

"What?" I asked confused.

Zayn smiled at me and looked back at Louis.

Are you sure?

Zayn mouthed second guessing Louis.

Louis nodded his head at Zayn again.

"Shit." Zayn mumbled again. 

I just stared at them.

"What?" I asked again.

Zayn looked away from Louis.

"Right. It's your birthday." Zayn said with a forced smile.

I nodded with a grin.

"Ella!" Mom shouted from the living room.

I jumped off the chair.

"Coming mommy." I said running into the living room.

When I was in the messy living room, mom stared at me.

"What is it?" I asked mom.

Mom got up from her position on the floor.

"What did I tell you about your toys?" Mom asked scolding me.

I sighed nervously.

"I'll go put them away." I said with a frown.

Mom smiled.

"Good girl." Mom said with a look of approval.

I nodded my head as mom kissed my head.

"Happy Birthday, Harry." Mom said kissing my head one more time.

I smiled to myself as I crawled on the floor to pick up my toys. 

When they all were off the floor, I walked them into the room that I shared with my sister with a smile on my face.

"Hi Eleanor. Today is my birthday." I said while putting my toys away in the toy chest.

"Shut up, Harry. No one cares." Eleanor shouted with her face in a book.

"Okay." I said with a frown as I looked down at the floor. 

I ran out of my bedroom and into the kitchen as tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"What's the matter, Sweetie?" Mom asked placing the plate onto the table.

I shook my head as I cried.

"Eleanor told me to shut up and no one cares about me." I said through my sobs.

"Honey, that's not true." Mom said as she smoothed my hair comfortingly.

Louis walked into the kitchen.

"I heard crying. What's going on?" Louis asked worried something happened.

"Don't worry about it. Can you stay here with Harry?" Mom asked still trying comforting me.

"Sure." Louis said concerned.

Mom walked out of the kitchen and into my bedroom.

I sat in the corner sobbing as Louis came near me and smoothed my hair.

"What's the matter?" Louis asked with a sad smile.

"No one likes me." I said crying even harder.

Louis shook his head.

"What makes you think that?" He asked with a frown.

"Everyone at school is mean to me, Eleanor always tells me she hates me, and Zayn never remembers my birthday. He doesn't even know how old I am." I cried leaning into his shoulder.

Louis looked at me upset.

"Come here." Louis said opening up his arms.

I jumped up in his arms as he hugged me tightly.

"Awe, how cute." Eleanor sarcastically stated.

Louis rolled his eyes at her.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked ignoring her comment.

"It's time for breakfast. I kind of have to be here." Eleanor responded rudely.

Eleanor looked at me in Louis’ lap still.

"What do you think you're doing?" Eleanor asked as she took a seat on the other side of the table.

"I am leaving." I said as I looked down at my hands.

"Why does she have to leave?" Louis asked as he got out of his seat.

Eleanor rolled her eyes.

"Because, she's in my way." She said putting her hands onto her hips.

Louis and Eleanor started to argue as I walked into the living room to try to ignore them.

I sat on the couch and put my head down.

Some birthday this is turning out to be. 

"Ella, time for breakfast." Mommy yelled from the kitchen.

I groaned to myself as I got off the couch and walked to the kitchen.

As I entered, everyone was already eating.

"So glad you could join us, Harry." Eleanor said sarcastically with a fake smile.

I sat on my seat without saying a word.

"Ready to pray kids?" Mom asked with her hands out.

"Ew no." Eleanor said looking up from her book.

"We are a Christian family and we will pray." Mom shouted at Eleanor as a way to scare her.

However this didn't phase her though.

"Whatever." She said still looking into her book.

"Zayn, would you like to pray?" Mom asked with an innocent smile.

"Yes, mother." Zayn said as he started to get into position.

We all closed our eyes and held hands.

Well, everyone except Eleanor.

"Dear Lord, we would like to thank you for our lives, for this meal on the table, and for the clothes on our backs. Please help protect the people that are in Europe right now. Amen." Zayn said with his eyes closed.

Mom nodded her head to him as we started eating breakfast.

Just like any other family would do.

Expect all the arguing.

"Eleanor, put the book down and eat breakfast!" Mom hollered causing her to put her book down and started eating.

"How's your day going, Mother?" Zayn asked politely.

"Very stressful, Zayn." Mom said dramatically sighing.

Zayn looked over at me and Eleanor to silently scold us.

Eleanor rolled her eyes at him.

"Shut up, Zayn." She commanded with an attitude.

Mom threw her silverware down on the table.

"Eleanor, go to your room." Mom shouted with extreme anger.

She picked up her book and ran into her room.

"That was rude." Louis remarked quietly with food in his mouth.

"Lewis, do you want to go your room too?" Mom asked getting more irritated.

"No, mam." Louis whispered in shame.

He stayed quiet for the rest of breakfast.

"What happened to dad?" I said without thinking before I spoke.

Mom looked at me shocked.

"Harry, that is highly inappropriate for the table." Mom sternly scolded me.

"I know, but I miss him." I said with a sad smile.

Mom looked as if I personally offended her.

"What's wrong with me?" Mom asked going self defense mode.

I started nervously playing with my hair.

"Nothing, mommy. But, you're just mean." I murmured quietly.

Mom threw her silverware on the floor in frustration.

I moved back in fear.

"Harry, I am just trying to raise my children to be respectful people and not some slobs off the street." Mom said finally calming herself.

"I know, but you always yell." I said as my voice shook.

"Harry, I have to. You kids act like you were raised in a funny farm." Mom said clutching onto the table cloth.

Louis rolled his eyes.

"Lewis, don't you start now." Mom shouted losing her nerve again.

He nodded his head obediently.

"Harry, now's not the time to ask about your father." Mom said ignoring the question completely.

I nodded obediently.

Everyone continued to eat in silence until Louis broke the silence.

"So, what are we doing for Harry's birthday today?" He asked in between bites of his eggs.

"Well, I don't know yet. I really don't have that much money this year." Mom said finishing her remaining eggs.

"Well, I hope that we get to do something." Louis said finishing his remaining breakfast.

Mom nodded as she also finished her food.

Zayn was the first to leave the table.

"I'll do the dishes, Mom." He said as he put the dishes into the sink.

Mom kissed Zayn on the check.

"Thank you so much darling." Mom said as she put her dishes into the sink.

Zayn turned to do the dishes as mom sat back down in her seat.

Louis got up to put his dishes in the sink.

"Butt kisser." He whispered as he walked past Zayn.

He rolled his eyes before Louis walked out of the kitchen.

I got up out of my seat without putting my dishes away.

Then, I left the kitchen and went into my room.

The day passed by without doing anything special.

Everyone acted as if this was just any ordinary day.

And, maybe it was.

It wasn't for me though.

Whatever seemed important to me wasn't important to anyone else.

That year, we didn't celebrate my birthday.

I didn't get a single present.

Maybe that even didn't matter anymore either.

Presents aren't anything special.

They just material things that have no value.

Presents are just distractions from what really matters.

But, it mattered to me.

My family has never been the best.

But, presents is how I know they love me.

For that point on, I knew that everything was a lie.

That all my family did was lie to me.

Each year would get worse.

Before I knew it, my mom even forgot my birthday.

I would never get my one present.

Everyone forgot my birthday.

My birthday is supposed to be a special day.

Not one to be spent all by myself.

Every year on my birthday I would hear the same thing.

My mom cry herself to sleep.

The sounds of fighting.

Dishes and furniture getting thrown around the house.

And, one little broken heart.

The heart of a little girl that scared.

The heart of a little girl that was a victim of the war.

The same war that killed her dad.

The same war that torn her family apart.

And, the same war that killed her too.

That little girl was me.

The war started the day of my seventh birthday.

And, every year it would just love to show how much power it had.

My birthday would never to be same again.

Because, war killed the innocence of a little girl.

War changed her life forever.

And, that little girl was me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> *Still have no fooking clue how to work this*  
> *Harry's A Female*


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy happens, but Harry finds comfort in other things. 
> 
> *Harry Is A Female*

December 7, 1941: Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor

 

That day I woke up with my sister shaking me awake.

If I knew how this day was going to go, I would have stayed in my bed.

But, I didn't know.

So, I got up.

"Harry, get up." Eleanor said as she shook me awake.

I threw my pillow at her.

"What do you need?" I asked refusing to open my eyes.

"You need to come to the living room." Eleanor said with a shaking voice.

It sounded like she was crying.

Something bad must have happened.

I jumped out my bed and followed her to the living room.

When I entered the living room, I heard that the radio was on.

"The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor this morning. The attack ended up killing 2,335 servicemen and injuring 1,443 others." The man on the radio said with fear in his voice.

My mom cried in fear as the man said the words.

Eleanor sat on the couch with tears in her eyes.

I stood in the same spot with a blank expression.

The radio continued to talk, but started to fade.

Louis walked into the living room.

"What happened?" He asked confused.

Mom got up and hugged him.

"I love you so much, Louis." Mom said as tears fell down her cheeks.

Louis looked around panicked.

"I love you too, Mom." He said as his fear grew.

Mom let go of him and sat back down as Eleanor sobbed into a pillow.

"Mom, Is Zayn okay?" I asked feeling warm tears go down on my face.

Mom didn't say anything.

"Someone tell what is going on. And, how it will hurt Zayn?" Louis asked panicked.

Mom continued to cry.

Eleanor got up and put a hand on Louis’ shoulder.

"Louis, there was an attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii." Eleanor said as she fought back her own tears. 

"That's where Zayn is stationed." Louis said shaking his head to himself.

She nodded her head with a frown causing Louis to run out of the living room.

"Louis." Eleanor shouted trying to call for him.

Then, I ran out of the living room to follow him.

"Harry." She shouted as I ran to the bathroom.

"Louis, please open up." I said while knocking on the door.

I heard some glass break and some screams.

I knew what Louis going to do in there and I just couldn't let him do it.

When the bathroom got quiet, I started having a panic attack.

I closed my eyes as the caught my breath.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Mom asked touching my face.

"Louis’ hurting himself. Get him out." I said in desperation. 

Mom kicked the door open and ran into the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" She asked bending down on the floor.

I nodded my head unable to say anything.

My world was falling apart as I knew it.

Of course I wasn't fucking okay.

Then, Eleanor went into the bathroom with my mom.

I slowly got up to see that the bathroom door was still closed.

I walked into my bedroom to cry.

The whole day passed as we all waited in anticipation for 'the call'.

But, we never got 'the call'.

I guess that I should have been relieved.

Zayn might have not been killed.

But, this only made me more scared for the future.

There still was a chance since that Zayn didn't make it.

They probably just didn't find him yet and this fact scared the hell out of me.

It took them 6 months to find my dad's body.

For those six months, we just waited until they found him.

The army was convinced that he was just MIA.

In the end, we were right after all.

These times were just like those.

But, for some reason it felt longer than those times.

At breakfast, it was just mom and I eating.

Eleanor skipped to hang out with her boyfriend.

Louis stayed in his room.

At lunch, It was still mom and I.

Eleanor was still at her boyfriend’s house.

Louis was still locked in his bedroom.

At supper, Eleanor came to eat with us.

Louis didn't come out of his bedroom the entire day.

That night, I nervously walked over to the door.

I played with ends of my night dress as I knocked on the door.

"Louis?" I asked not trying to wake everyone else in the house up.

No response.

I knocked louder this time.

"Louis? Please let me in." I begged with concern.

I heard Louis get up and unlock the door.

"Come in." He quietly mumbled.

As I walked in, I saw that his room was a mess.

"Hi." I said awkwardly.

"You don't have to sugarcoat it, Harry." Louis said as he sat onto his bed.

I kicked the blankets to the side as I sat next to him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at him confused.

"You know, 'the call'." Louis said looking down at his hands.

"Actually, it never came." I said looking up nervously at him.

Louis cocked his eyebrow confused.

"Really? I was sure it would come today." He said still unsure how to react.

I nodded my head nervously.

He could sense my fear.

"Do you think that Zayn is alive?" Louis asked with a small sense of hope.

"I honestly don't know anymore." I said as I placed my small hands on top of his large ones.

He nodded his head still trying to understand the situation.

"You know about the whole dad situation." I said frowning at the memory.

Louis nodded his head again.

"All that bullshit that they pulled on dad was the worst damn thing ever." He said as he held tighter onto my hand.

I nodded my head in agreement.

"Harry, you know I love you right?" He asked as he shoot me a smile.

I nodded my head.

"I know you do, but why did you say at of a sudden?" I asked confused with what exactly he had planned.

"It seems like you are really the only one who truly cares about me. I mean, you came to see if I was okay. You are the best little sister ever." Louis said as small tears fell from his red eyes.

I smiled as tears fell down my face.

"Thanks, Louis. I love you too." I said clearing the tears on my face.

Louis hugged me and I hugged him back.

We stayed like that for a good while.

When he let go of me, I pushed him on his bed.

"Go to bed." I said imitating our mom.

Louis laughed as he attempted to grab my waist.

When he finally caught me, he kissed me on the cheek.

"You should be in bed before me." He said with a quick smile.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Okay, I'm leaving." I said as I started walking out of his room backwards.

"Okay, goodnight." Louis said as he lied down on top of his bed.

I left Louis’ room and walked into my bedroom.

When I entered my bedroom, Eleanor was reading a book with the lamp still on.

"Where the hell were you at?" She asked looking up from her book.

"Louis’ room." I said as I sat down on top of my bed and undid it.

"Why?" She asked as she cocked her eyebrow confused.

I shrugged my shoulders as I placed the covers on top of myself.

Eleanor decided to drop it and I was glad she did.

I turned out the light in anticipation for the next day.

Sure that day did not go as planned.

Nor does anything in life.

But, I saw it as something else.

Maybe this is a chance to see what I had in life.

If I could have frozen time on one moment in time, it would have been that one.

Sure everything was wrong with life, but it didn't have to sad.

Maybe focusing on the on the good for just two hours was the key to surviving life.

Living for the good moments and forgetting about all the negative.

I believe that each day you learn something new.

Today it happened to be the most important lesson a young girl could learn.

Forgetting about the negative and focusing on the positive.

It's always good to be happy.

Even if it isn't real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just have to explain that I don't ship Larry in anyway. This is supply the relationship between a brother and sister. Nothing more and nothing less.  
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> *I have some clue how to work this site*  
> *I do not ship Larry*


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Liam start to bond for the first time as Niall appears to be jealous.

December 8, 1941: United States and Britain declare war on Japan

 

That next day I woke up to the sounds of my mother hollering my name.

That's right.

I was expected to go to school after my brother was declared MIA.

Was that even legal?

I got up out of bed as I stretched.

It took a while for me to wake up considering that I spent the most of the night in Louis’ room.

No wonder I was tired.

I started to walk towards the bathroom and shook the door knob to discover that the door was locked.

"Eleanor, can you please hurry up?" I asked as I pounded onto the door.

"Go away, Harry." She shouted through the shower running.

"I need to go into bathroom sometime today. Just telling you." I said irritated.

Before she could respond, I went into the kitchen to eat breakfast.

"Zayn being MIA doesn't change anything, Louis. You still have to go to school." Mom said as she finished setting the table.

Louis rolled his eyes without her realizing it.

"Morning, Mom." I said as I took my seat next to Louis.

Mom kissed my head.

"Good morning, Harry. How did you sleep last night?" Mom asked as she took her seat across from me.

Louis looked at me with a confused expression.

She's in a happy mood this morning.

"Fine, Mom." I lied as I grabbed a pancake from the plate.

I didn't want to get myself in trouble.

Mom ended that conversation and went into another one.

I stopped listened when she started talking about knitting.

I knew Louis stopped listening too, because he was staring off into space.

Whatever Louis was thinking, I was thinking the exact same thing.

How were we going to handle going to school?

School would require lots of lying and fake smiling.

I rolled my eyes without thinking of it.

"Harry, did you just roll your eyes at me?" Mom asked like I interrupted her.

"No, Mom." I said faking a quick smile.

"That's what I thought." Mom said as she finished her remaining breakfast.

I finished my breakfast and put my dishes into the sink.

After that, I walked into my bedroom to get ready for school.

"Eleanor Tomlinson, come eat your breakfast." Mom shouted loudly from the kitchen.

When I was all ready for school, I went downstairs to get my lunch from the table. 

"Eleanor, wait for your sister." Mom said as I walked into the living room.

I kissed my mom on the cheek and walked out of the house.

"Wait for me, guys." I said as I ran to catch up with my siblings.

This only made Eleanor walk even faster.

"Hi." I said when I finally caught up to Louis.

"Hello. Do you think you can make it through the day without wanting to scream?" He asked already knowing my answer.

"No way. How about you?" I asked as we walked at the same pace.

Louis shook his head with a frown.

I knew that he and Zayn were closer than anyone else.

If anything, I would think that he suffered the most.

When Zayn left for boot camp, Louis being upset was an understatement.

Louis was devastated.

Zayn made sure that Louis was the last to know about him leaving.

Zayn left at night so Louis wouldn't be around.

But, Zayn accidentally tripped and woke Louis up.

Then, Zayn was forced to tell Louis the truth and he didn't take it well.

Zayn said it was something that he felt he had to do.

Louis thought it was because of him, but Zayn felt that he had to help fight.

For his family and the girl that he loved so much.

I never blamed him.

Zayn was doing right, but Louis never saw this as that.

Louis always thought that it was something he did.

He didn't get it and he never will.

The rest of the 6 mile walk was calm.

Louis and I walked in silence.

Somewhere along the way we lost Eleanor, but neither of us cared.

She hated us anyways.

When we past the elementary school, we stopped walking.

"Here we go, Harry." Louis said with sad smile.

I nodded my head.

"Have a good day at school." Louis said as he started walking away.

Before I could respond, he turned the corner to the high school.

I sighed as I readjusted my book bag.

Well, here goes nothing.

I walked into the small elementary school.

Since I lived in a small town, I went to a small elementary school.

That year, there were eight kids in my class.

Nine including myself.

When I enter the fourth grade classroom, there was only one kid in the class.

Of course it had to be Liam Payne.

He was the nerd of the class.

He was also known as the teacher's pet and the kid with no friends.

So, it made sense that he was the first one in class.

I sat down in my seat that happened to be right next to him.

"Good Morning, Harry." Liam said as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

I nodded my head in response.

"So, how was your weekend?" Liam asked moving closer to me.

"It was fine, Liam." I said as I got my pencil and put it on my desk.

"So, Harry can I ask you a question?" Liam asked as he moved even closer to me.

I looked at him awkwardly.

"Sure." I said uncomfortably.

William looked down nervously.

"Harry, do you want to-" Liam started to say, but he stopped talking.

"Spit it out, Liam." I said confused.

He nodded his head.

"Harry, do you want to go to the carnival with me?" Liam asked while nervously playing with his hands.

I started to panic.

Liam seemed to notice this.

"You don't have to." Liam said already regretting it.

"It's fine." I said trying not to break his heart.

"So, what is it?" Liam asked nervously as he waited for the answer.

"Like a date?" I asked moving slightly away from him.

"It doesn't have to be." He said with disappointment on this face.

"Sure, Liam. I would love to." I said with a small smile.

Liam had an excited look on his face.

"Really?" He asked finding it hard to believe.

"Yes, Liam." I said with a happy feeling in myself.

Liam got up from his chair and he hugged me.

I touched his back.

"Thank you. You are a great person." He said as continued to hug me.

I blushed.

"Your welcome." I said as I continued to blush.

When Liam let go of me, he noticed my red cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel awkward." He said as he soon regretted the hug.

"I don't feel awkward." I said trying to contain my blushing cheeks.

"Okay, good." Liam said with a smile.

He sat back in his seat as I fixed my dress and hair.

Many silent minutes later, more students entered the classroom.

Just as I started getting lost in my thoughts, my only friend started talking to me.

"I got a new dog this weekend." Niall said thinking that I was listening.

"What? Could you repeat yourself?" I asked as I just got out my excuse for a brain.

"I said that I got a new dog this weekend." Niall said with a smile.

"Oh, that great. What's his name?" I asked not really caring too much.

Niall sat in the seat next to me.

"First of all, it's a her." He said with straight face.

"Sorry." I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Second of all, her name is Becky." He said like it really mattered.

"She sounds adorable, Niall." I said making my friend happy.

Niall nodded his head.

"Anything happened this weekend?" He asked like he had no idea.

"Yeah, something happened." I said hoping he really knew what happened.

Niall moved closer to me.

"Tell me." He said all of the sudden interested.

"Like you don't already know." I said in a know-it-all way.

"I actually don't know. So, would you just tell me already?" He said completely confused.

It's like he didn't even own a radio.

That's because he didn't.

"Pearl Harbor, Hawaii was bombed this weekend." I said trying not to start crying.

Niall sat in his seat in shock.

"But, that's where your brother is stationed." He said unable to believe what he was hearing.

I nodded my head.

Before I could stop myself, tears started to fall from my eyes.

Niall reached out to hug me and I accepted it.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." He said upset.

I didn't say anything.

"Awe, look at the two love birds." One of the students called out to us.

"Mind your own business." Niall said still hugging me.

"I'm sorry." I said with a frown.

"Harry, it's not your fault." He said making it seem convincing.

I nodded my head.

But, I didn't agree with him.

I sat down in my seat as the teacher walked in.

During class, Liam would sneak glances at me and I would also sneak glances at him.

At one point of class, Liam held my hand under the table.

I guess that was the start of our relationship.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

And, I could tell that William was enjoying it too.

Once in a while, I would get this feeling that Niall was jealous.

Maybe he was.

Niall would get a pained expression every time I mentioned Liam.

Niall seemed to notice that we would do in class.

But, he never said anything about it.

So, I spent a while assuming that he didn't know.

In other words, the biggest mistake ever.

After school, Liam came up behind me.

"Hey, Harry." Liam said smiling at me.

"Hey, Liam." I said smiling back at him.

"Don't forget about this weekend." Liam said holding onto my hand.

"I won't." I said as I got closer to his face.

We were about to kiss until I heard footsteps behind me.

"Harry, lets go." Louis said knowing what he just broke up.

"Okay, Louis." I said trying to hide my blushing face.

I hugged Liam before I walked away from him with my brother.

When we go away from Liam, Louis stopped walking away from the school.

I stopped walking and looked at him confused.

"What?" I asked Louis.

He crossed his arms.

"Who's that boy?" Louis asked being overprotective.

"Liam." I said starting to blush.

Louis shook his head.

"Do you have a crush on him?" He asked with stern face.

"Maybe." I said with my whole face red.

Louis looked at him again.

"What?" I asked embarrassed. 

"You're nine." He said in disbelief.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked kicking the dirt on the road.

"You are too young to be liking boys." He said with an expression of disapproval.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Would you rather me like girls?" I asked sarcastically. 

"Harry, you shouldn't be liking anyone." He said in an old fashion point of view.

"You sound just like Mom." I said getting mad.

Louis made an attempt to touch me, but I moved back.

“Harry, I am just worried." He said as an attempt to make me understand.

I walked away from him as I heard him run after me.

He ran in front of me and held onto my arm.

"Harry, where do you think your going?" He asked not letting go of my arm.

"Home." I said trying to get out of his grip.

"Without me? You aren't aloud to walk home alone." He said sounding like mom again.

I got out of his grip and ran away.

I guessed Louis gave up, because I didn't hear him.

Then, I ignored Louis for the remainder of the day.

Which meant no late night talks and no staying up late.

I could tell it broke his heart, but he can't control my life.

I wanted to be happy.

I was tired of being miserable.

So, I decided to make myself happy.

And, that's how I got my first boyfriend.

At the carnival, Liam and I had a fantastic time.

We held hands and shared a milkshake.

On the top of the Ferris wheel, we kissed for the first time.

That's how I could tell that I was happy.

Because, I didn't care what anyone else thought.

At this point in my life, I could tell that I made the right choice.

I was in love with the best boy ever.

And, at that point, nothing could get in the way.

Not even my subconscious. 

Or so I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> *Have a fooking clue how to work this site*  
> *Harry's A Female*  
> *I don't ship Larry*


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry walks into something that she wasn't supposed to see before receiving two of the most shocking news that she has to yet hear. 
> 
> *Harry is a female*  
> *I don't ship Larry*

August 17, 1942: First all-American air attack in Europe.

 

I sat in my bed looking outside the window.

It was about 4 am and I couldn't sleep.

I looked over at Eleanor to see that she was fast asleep in her bed.

I walked out of the bedroom and I went to Louis’ room.

As I approached his room, I heard strange noises coming from his room.

I put my ear to the door to hear the noises clearer.

"Louis." A female voice yelled as she moaned loudly.

I heard moans come from Louis’ mouth.

What the hell were they doing in there?

Suddenly, I knocked on the door and the moans stopped.

I heard the sounds of distant whispering and things getting thrown around as I waited until someone answered the door.

The door was opened just enough for me to see Louis’ face.

"Harry? What are you doing here?" Louis asked trying to hide the fact that he was up something.

"I couldn't sleep." I said trying not to wake everyone up.

"You know that you are always welcome to sleep in my room, but not tonight." Louis said trying not to break my heart.

Little did he know that he already was.

"Why not?" I asked still determined to know what was happening.

Louis looked around panicked.

"I'm having private time." He said like he's telling a 5 year old something like how babies were made.

I looked at him.

"Really? Do you think that I am that stupid?" I asked trying to push my way in the room.

Louis noticed me trying to get in.

"Harry, it's not what it looks like." He said trying to defend himself.

"Really? The moaning?" I asked while I rolled my eyes.

When Louis was too busy panicking, I ran into his room.

"Whoa little girl get out of here." A women said hiding herself under the blankets.

Louis came up behind me.

"Harry, please get out." He said with a stern face.

"Louis, who is this?" The women asked with an irritated expression.

"This is my little sister, Harry." Louis said introducing me to his slut.

She rolled her eyes rudely at me.

"Harry, this is Sophia." Louis said introducing his slut to me.

"She looks thirty." I said without even thinking much of it.

Sophia looked at me angrily.

"Bitch, I am not thirty. I'm fucking twenty four." She said with an angry look.

"Really?" I asked without thinking again.

Sophia started getting up, but Louis held onto her arm.

"Stop, Sophia. She didn't mean it." Louis said holding her down.

"What the hell are you talking about? That slut looks like she is thirty." I said crossing my arms and rolling my eyes at her.

Sophia tried to jump out of Louis’ grip.

"Harry, please shut up." Louis said trying to control the situation.

Sophia stuck her tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Harry, can you please leave?" Louis asked desperately me wanting me to leave.

"I was going to anyways. Thank you very much." I said not taking my eyes off that slut.

I turned around and started walking towards the door.

"Good night, Harry. I love you." Louis said trying to not continue fighting with me.

"Oh, do you now? I don't even think you know what the hell love is." I said looking back at him.

"Harry, I do love you." Louis said as he attempted to touch me.

"Save this so called love for this slut. That is if you even love her too." I said before I closed the door to the sounds of Louis and the slut fighting.

A fight that I caused, but he started it by bring her into the house and screwing her.

I was just making it worse by insulting her.

Why did I do that?

Was I jealous?

No, I wasn't.

Louis was just making the wrong decision being with her.

He doesn't belong to me.

He belongs to the slut.

He is growing up and so am I.

Is this how Louis felt about Liam?

I needed to apologize.

I ran back to Louis’ door and knocked on the door again.

The moans and screams stopped again.

"Who the hell is it now?" Sophia shouted in frustration.

"I don't know, baby." Louis said quietly trying not to displease his slut.

"Get the door." Sophia shouted at him again as he opened the door.

"Louis?" I asked as I stood in front of the door and waved my hand in front of his face.

Louis shook his head.

"What Harry?" He asked as if he didn't hear what I just said.

"Didn't you hear me?" I asked as I heard the slut in the background.

"Sorry, I didn't." Louis said apologetically as the sluts noises grew louder.

"Could you please tell your slut to stop being so loud?" I asked getting irritated with her ugly whore face.

"Bitch, I'd shut up if you didn't keep coming and interrupting me and Louis fucking." Sophia said not taking her eyes off of mine.

She rolled her eyes at me.

"Baby, you know that Harry is only ten." Louis said totally ignoring the fact that he was just being a complete dick to me.

"Does it look like I care?" Sophia asked as she got out of the blankets.

She lied in Louis’ bed in her bra and underwear.

I turned around to not see her.

"Sophia, please get some clothes on." Louis asked trying to get his slut in control.

"No." Sophia said as she lit a large cigarette.

Louis shook his head as I continued to keep my body turned anyway from her.

"Louis, do you know-" Eleanor started to say before she saw the almost naked girl in Louis’ bed.

Louis looked as if he was about to scream.

"Does anyone in this house know how to knock?" He yelled.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think that anyone would be almost naked in here." Eleanor said with her bitchy tone of voice.

"What's the big deal, Louie?" Sophia asked still lying on top of Louis’ bed.

Eleanor looked at Sophia and then went back to Louis.

"Louis, who the hell is this?" Eleanor asked as she sat at Zayn’s old desk.

Louis nervously took a deep breath.

He was fucked and he knew it.

Eleanor was going to tell mom without a doubt.

"Eleanor, this is Sophia." Louis said nervously introducing his slut to the bitch.

"Hello, bitch." Sophia said with a fake smile.

They are going to get along just great.

Note the sarcasm.

"This is my little sister, Eleanor." Louis said as the bitch was introduced to the slut.

"Pleasure to meet the slut that kept me up all night. A really great pleasure." Eleanor said sarcastically with a fake smile.

Sophia rolled her eyes at Eleanor.

"How many little sisters do you have, Louie?" Sophia asked as she got off the bed.

"Just two." Louis said trying not to make things even more awkward.

Sophia put her hand near Louis’ bottom half.

"Do you have any brothers?" Sophia asked in a sexual voice.

Louis tensed up and looked at me.

"Yes, we have a brother. But, he is kind of busy." I explained so Louis didn't have to feel uncomfortable.

He nodded his head in agreement.

"Why couldn't Louis explain that?" Sophia asked slowly moving her hand up Louis’ leg.

"Because, maybe he doesn't want to." I said with my best attempt to act brave.

Sophia moved away from Louis and walked towards me.

"First, you interrupt our sex. Then, you tell me that I am slut and I look thirty. Then, you interrupt our sex for the second time. And, now you are calling me dumb." Sophia said as she continued to get into my face.

"Wait, you and Louis had sex? How old are you?" Eleanor asked like any of this was even her business.

Louis fell on his bed and started screaming into a pillow.

"Sophia look, I am not sorry and I meant every word. If you really want to be with Louis, then you can. Louis’ an adult and you are too. You two can be together as long as you like. Just don't hurt my brother or I will kill you. Got it?" I said to Sophia as she kept her hands on her hips.

"Really? How is a little girl going to kill me?" Sophia asked as an attempt to knock me down.

"I'm a lot stronger than you think" I said as I opened the door.

Sophia just laughed.

"Sure thing, sweetheart." She said as she awkwardly patted my head.

"Now, answer my question." Eleanor said like her determined self.

Sophia started putting her dress back on.

"I'm twenty four." She said as she fastened the back of her dress.

Eleanor looked at me with a shocked expression.

I nodded my head.

Wow.

Eleanor mouthed.

I laughed at her comment.

Sophia left Louis’ room and walked out of the house.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Eleanor and I started laughing so hard.

"She's twenty four." She said in complete shock.

"She doesn't look it." I said agreeing with her.

Louis lifted the pillow from under his head.

"Are you two done laughing at my girlfriend yet?" Louis asked annoyed with us mocking her girlfriend.

Eleanor started to laugh again.

"That's your girlfriend? I thought that she was a prostitute that you paid to have sex with you." She said causing me to react the same way.

I started tearing up as I continued to laugh.

Louis got off his bed.

"That's very rude, girls. She is not a prostitute and she is not that old looking." He said defending his sluts ass.

Eleanor stopped laughing for a second.

"Louis, It's great that you have a girlfriend. Number one, everyone thought that you would turn out gay. So, congratulations." She said jokingly to him.

"Really?" Louis asked as he pretended to look offended.

"You finally lost your virginity. It took you 17 years to lose it. So, good job with that big brother." Eleanor said as she patted his back.

Louis rolled his eyes at her.

"Little miss bitch, when did you lose your virginity?" He asked with a hint of seriousness in his voice.

"A girl never tells when she lost her virginity or her weight. Especially her weight." Eleanor said with a secretive smile.

Louis looked at Eleanor with a confused expression.

"It was with your boyfriend, wasn't it?" I asked with a knowledgeable grin.

Eleanor threw Louis’ pillow at me and I threw the pillow back at her.

"Harry, Niall’s at the door." Mom called from downstairs.

I got off of Louis’ bed and left the room.

It took me till now to realize that I didn't get any sleep last night.

Oh, I was exhausted.

As I entered the living room, Niall was on the couch playing with his fingers.

That could only mean that he was nervous about something.

This can't be good.

"Hey, Niall." I said causing to put his head back up.

Niall nodded as he patted on the spot next to him.

"Okay, then." I said nervously taking a seat next to him.

"Harry, I need to tell you something important." Niall said refusing to look up at me.

"Okay, what's wrong?" I asked as I moved closer to him.

Niall took a nervous breath.

"Well, it is actually two things." He said looking nervously at me.

I nodded my head.

"The first thing is about Liam." Niall mumbled with his head down.

I perked up as soon as I heard his name.

"What about Liam?" I asked getting defensive already.

He looked at me like he was about to cry.

"Harry, I'm so sorry." Niall said as tears started to run down his face.

"What did you do, Niall?" I asked putting my arms around him.

I sat next to him and held onto his hand.

"Don't get mad. Promise me you won't get mad." Niall said as he started to cry again.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I did anyways.

"I promise." I said squeezing his shaking hands.

"So, Liam and I had to work on a project together for English. And, we somehow brought the subjects of first kisses up. Liam said that you were his first kiss. Then, he asked me if I ever had a first kiss and I said no. So, Liam asked me who I wanted it to be with and-" Niall stopped with a panicked expression.

"Well, what did you say?" I asked trying to get him to spill it.

Niall looked around the living room in panic.

"I don't know." He said in way that made it seem like he wasn't lying.

"Oh." I said with a hint of disappointment.

Was I expecting it to be me?

No, that couldn't be it.

I love Liam.

"Well, then what's the problem?" I asked trying not to make my jealously so obvious.

"Liam and I decided to read comics in his room and something happened." Niall said on the urge of crying again.

"What happened?" I asked nervously.

"We might have kissed." Niall said quietly as tears fell down his cheeks.

I let go of his hand.

What the hell was going on?

"You kissed my boyfriend." I asked still in shock.

Niall nodded his head in shame as I took a deep breath.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked as he cried in fear.

I nodded my head as I made my hands into fists.

"Are you more mad at Liam?" Niall asked as he tried to stop crying.

I nodded my head as I held my fist tighter.

"That dick is so dead to me." I mumbled to myself.

"Harry, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. Please don't hate me. You're my best friend in the whole world." Niall sobbed as he put his face into the couch.

I was so mad at both them, but I hated it when Niall was upset.

Should I forgive him and just act like nothing happened?

Or should show him how much Liam is worth to me?

"Niall, I don't hate you." I said as I tried to pull him from the couch.

"Really?" Niall asked getting his face out of the couch.

I nodded my head.

I can't believe I was giving him another chance like this.

I’m such a girl.

Niall hugged me and I held onto him.

"Thank you. I love you." He said as he cried in relief.

I nodded my head.

"Harry, tell your friend to leave. We have a family meeting." Mom yelled to me from the kitchen.

"About what?" I asked as Niall started getting up from the couch.

"Zayn." Mom said as emotionless as possible.

I froze in my place.

"See you, Harry. Thanks." Niall said before he walked out of the house.

Louis sat next to me and Eleanor sat next to him.

Mom walked in and sat on her recliner.

"I got a call from the military today and they told me some news that I think that you need to know." Mom said with an expression that gave nothing away.

Louis started shaking and I held onto his hand to help him calm down.

This was the moment that we all were waiting for a year.

I replayed this day in my head a thousand times.

Zayn could be alive, MIA, or dead.

Right now I really wanted him to be alive.

Mom cleared her throat.

"Kids, your brother is dead." Mom said as tears ran down her face.

Just like that, my heart stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> *I have a fooking clue how to work this site*  
> *Harry is a female*  
> *I don't ship Larry*


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry having trouble dealing her brothers death, but finds comfort in something or in this case, someone else.
> 
> *Harry is a female*  
> *Sexual Content*

August 23, 1942: Massive German air raid on Stalingrad

 

There is this quote that people say when something terrible happens.

That would be the quote that says, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Total bullshit.

This quote is fucking useless in my eyes.

I remember when I was little everyone would joke about death like it was nothing.

I never understood why people thought that death is funny.

Death has always had an impact on my life.

When I was three, my dad died in the war.

Now, I am eleven and my older brother died in an attack.

I thought that going through one death was enough and the next one would hurt less.

But, man was I wrong.

Everyone was different in their own ways of grieving through the death.

Mom got drunk, high, and just had a lot sex.

Eleanor spent most of her time alone or with her boyfriend.

Louis started hiding his emotions which led to him becoming depressed.

I would distract myself by going to Niall or Liam's house.

I wouldn't go home for dinner and I wouldn't sleep anywhere never that house.

I guess that I planned on staying as far away as possible from that death trap.

I guess Eleanor had the same idea as me, because she stayed with her new boyfriend.

Without even asking mom if she could.

To Eleanor's and I benefit, mom wasn't even home half the time.

She would be having sex, having another hungover, or getting drunk all over again.

Louis was home alone in his room while all his friends were away fighting or dead.

"Harry, it's time to wake up." Niall said softly as he sat next to me on the cot.

"I didn't even fall asleep." I said as I got off the cot and went through the suitcase that I packed for myself.

"Harry, you can't live at my house forever. You have to go back home sometime again." Niall said as he bent down to make my bed.

I turned around as Niall sat back down.

"Why not?" I asked as I grabbed a new dress from the suit case.

"Harry, you still need a family to raise you and mine isn't the one to do it." Niall said getting up and putting his arm around me.

Something told he didn't want me to leave and I kind of liked it that way.

"No, you will let me live with you forever, because you love me too much to let me go back." I said as I closed my suitcase and sat back on the cot.

Niall nodded his head and I smiled at him.

"I do love you, but don't you miss your family at all?" He asked as he took a sit down next to me.

"I do, but I think it's best if I just don't see them right now. You know, I don't want to reminded of him." I said as I looked down at my hands.

"I know you don't, but you are just running away from your problems and pretending that nothing happened." Niall said as he grabbed my hand comfortingly.

I put my head on his shoulder.

"I know that I am, Ni. I want to go back and see my family. I want to be grieving with them, but I don't know how to. " I said as I felt warm tears roll down my face.

"Harry, I really want to help you and for you to be happy. I really do, but I don't know how to help you." Niall said giving me a sad smile.

Niall lied down next to me as I fell into the pillow and sobbed.

"Harry, I think you need to face your fear." He whispered in my ear as he put his arm around me comfortingly.

I nodded my head as I placed my head into his chest.

"Harry, I know you can make it through this. You have always been a strong girl. No matter what anyone says. You're still the strongest person that I know." Niall said whispering the comforting words into my ear.

I took my head off his chest as Niall looked into my red eyes.

He started to move closer to my face.

I was about to moved closer until there was a knock on the door.

"Niall, your gay friend is here." I heard Niall's father yell from the living room.

Niall moved his face away from mine.

"Okay, dad. Send him up." He said as I got off of him.

Niall looked at me awkwardly as I grabbed my dress.

"I'm going to get dressed." I said starting to walk towards the bathroom.

Niall nodded his head distantly.

I walked out of Niall's room and into the bathroom.

As I closed the door, I let go of the breath that I was holding in.

Holy shit.

Were we just about to kiss?

I was going to let that happen.

Why I am such a whore?

"Niall, what happened just between you and Harry?" I heard Liam ask as he walked into Niall's bedroom.

"Nothing happened. I didn't do anything to hurt your precious Harry." Niall said rudely commenting.

"I would hope that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her, because I would have permission to kill you." Liam said defending me.

Why I am such a horrible person?

"Liam, I am not going to hurt her. If anything you would hurt her before I got the chance to hurt her." Niall said angrily as he kicked his dresser.

This is not going to end well.

"Niall, believe it or not, I actually love her and I don't want to hurt her." Liam said getting frustrated with Niall’s accusations.

"Wow, I'll be damned." Niall sarcastically said still not believing Liam.

Liam slapped Niall across the face.

I walked into the bedroom to see the boys tackling each other on the floor.

"Stop boys." I shouted causing them to turn their attention towards me.

"Liam, I am disappointed in you. This isn't acceptable behavior." I scolded as I walked towards him.

Shit, I am turning into my mother.

"Harry, I'm sorry. He was just making me mad." Liam said innocently as he got off the floor and grabbed onto my hand.

I looked down at the floor refusing to answer him.

"Babe, please don't ignore me. I love you so much." Liam said begged in desperation.

"I love you too." I said smiling back up at him.

Liam pecked me on the lips.

"Still here." Niall coughed awkwardly causing Liam to break away from the kiss.

"Sorry, dude." Liam said as he looked at Niall and back at me.

"I'm sure you are." Niall said sarcastically as he got his things for school and left his bedroom.

Liam and I followed behind him in our own little world.

As we piled into Niall's dad tiny car, Liam put his arm over my shoulder causing Niall to roll his eyes.

Liam and I sat in the back row as Niall sat in the front with his dad.

As Niall's dad drove us to the school, Liam and I continuously flirted with each other.

Niall and his dad sat in awkward silence.

When we arrived to the small school, Niall thanked his dad for the ride.

Liam and I walked into the school holding hands as Niall followed shortly behind us.

The school day went like it always did.

During lunch, Liam and I escaped to a private classroom.

It was nice just to be with Liam.

I really was in love with this boy.

Liam kissed me as I kissed him back with passion.

He started to tug off my dress and undid the zipper on the back of my dress.

As he got on top of me, Liam kissed me as I managed to kiss him back.

Liam took control as he started taking off my shoes.

I lied there as he struggled to take off my tights.

"Take them off." Liam whispered seductively as he pointed to his boxers.

I took his pants off as he took off my remaining clothes off.

Then, I took his boxers to reveal his raging erection. 

"Did you ever see a penis before, Harry?" Liam asked as he pampered my neck with kisses.

"No." I said still in awe of the penis' perfection.

"Well, it's all yours." Liam said before quickly pecking me on the lips.

"Really?" I asked him with excitement.

Liam pecked me on the lips again.

"Harry, I love you enough to lose this to you. You don't think you own my body?" He said looking lovingly into my eyes.

I shook my head.

"I thought you owned my body." I said with a sad smile.

Liam shook his head.

"Only if you want me to. I don't want you to think that I would take advantage of you. Harry, I'm in love with you." Liam said lovingly holding my onto hand.

I placed my blushing face into his chest.

"I want you to own my body too." I said as Liam started to kiss me passionately again.

"Harry, do you want me to do this to you?" Liam asked letting go my lips again.

My heart really wanted to do this.

It would bring Liam and I closer than before.

It would also make us both happy.

"Yes." I said happily ready for anything.

Then, we had sex.

Not because it was rape.

Just for the simple reason that we wanted to.

People would say it was so wrong.

But, why was it so wrong?

It was a choice.

And, we were only human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading.  
> Happy five years One Direction!!!
> 
> *I have a fucking clue how to work this site*  
> *Harry is a female*


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is sent to look for Louis and realizes that life isn't as good as she thought it was. 
> 
> *Harry is a female*  
> *I don't ship Larry*

September 13, 1942: Battle of Stalingrad begins

 

My days as a not virgin were pretty amazing.

It all felt like it was too real to happen as if it was all like one big dream.

The scariest part is that it wasn't.

It made me feel even more alive.

Liam and I wanted to keep it low profile, but we just couldn't do it.

Everyone knew that something happened between us.

The only problem was that they just didn't know what happened.

Niall knew everything that happened between us.

Every time he would look at Liam, he would looked at him with disappointment.

Every time he would look at me, he would have a look of pure desperation.

What did me losing my virginity have to do with Niall?

It didn't involve him, so it shouldn't effect him.

Niall was ignoring both us.

Not like that really affected me though.

Niall had a right to his own opinion and actions.

I returned back to my house after Niall kicked me out of his house.

So, I was stuck making my own meals and being ignored by everyone in the house.

Welcome back to my depressing life.

I crawled out of bed with my eyes closed.

"Harry, where's your brother?" I heard my mom ask from downstairs.

I groaned to myself.

"I don't know." I shouted back as I lied back head back onto the pillow.

"You should know." Mom yelled sounding like she was coming up the upstairs.

Last time I checked she was the mother.

"I haven't seen him in a couple days." I said as I tried getting comfortable in my blankets again before mom kicked the door open.

"Harry, get out of bed and look for your brother." Mom scolded as she yanked the blankets off my bed.

"Why do I have to look for him?" I asked placing my head under a pillow.

"Because, I said so." Mom said as she stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

I threw the pillow off my face.

"Why can't you look for him?" I asked with an annoyed look on my face.

Mom looked at me.

"Because, I don't care about him." She said causing me to look at her rudely.

"Then, why are you making me look for him?" I asked with a confused expression.

"Child Protective Services are coming today to see if I am a fit mother and you need to look for Louis." Mom said still wearing the same dress from the day before.

"Mom, Louis is 18." I said looking at her irritated.

Mom look at me confused.

"No, I am pretty sure he is 16." Mom said looking at me like I was the one that was crazy.

I shook my head.

"When was his birthday?" She asked like she had no idea.

I took a deep breath.

She was pissing me off.

"Today." I said forcing a smile at her.

Mom looked like someone took her drugs.

"When were you going to tell me that he wasn't sixteen?" Mom asked with pure anger in her eyes.

"I thought that it was implied. I mean, you did have him. You should, at least, know the day that he was born." I said ticking my mother off.

Mom looked at me with a scolding look.

"You have no right to say that to me." She said as she hit me with the sleeves of her coat.

I pushed her off of me and onto the floor.

"You don't have any right to forget about your children, especially on their 18th birthday. I love how you make a big deal about Louis being missing, but you haven't even asked where Eleanor is. She is your other daughter and she is under eighteen. You should be more worried wherever the hell Eleanor is, because she's a fifteen year old girl that could possibly get raped or killed by any man in town. Louis can technically move out and everything that happens is his fault. If anything is to happen to Eleanor, then you are the one that is responsible. So, if you think you have Child Protective Services up your ass now, just wait until they find out about Eleanor. They are going to take your lazy ass to jail, because you failed to be the responsible parent in our lives. Not to mention me. You didn't even come looking for me whenever I ran away. You didn't even care that I could have been kidnapped or raped. You are too focused on your own life to notice anything that is happening around here. The only kid you seemed to ever care about was Zayn. Now that he's dead, you think that you can just forget about the other kids you had. Like we never mattered at all to you. Mom, I'm sorry you lost the only child that you have ever loved, but we lost our brother too. Zayn meant a lot to all to us too, especially Louis. Louis is slowly shutting down everyday and you don't even know how fucking old he is. I mean, how he supposed to ever recover if he doesn't even have support from his own mother? Louis could have fucking killed himself for all we know. You'll never know that, because your too fucking selfish to care about anyone besides yourself. You would careless if he died, or Eleanor died, or I-" I ranted breaking into sobs until she interrupted me.

"Find your brother, Harry." Mom interrupted me emotionless.

I looked at her as tears ran down my face and I nodded my head in shame.

All that truth just for her to continue to lie.

She would continue to lie to herself to the point where she would start to believe it and then it would be too late.

I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the tears.

As I crawled out of bed, mom grabbed the sleeves of my nightgown.

"You're grounded. Just thought that I would tell you." Mom said before I rolled my eyes and walked out of the room.

I guess that message meant absolutely nothing to her.

What a waste of words for such an ungrateful person.

I was upset that what I said didn't faze her at all.

Because, it's how I truly felt.

That just showed me that she didn't care about what I thought.

She didn't care about us anymore.

Maybe she never even did.

And, that wasn't okay with me.

I mean, was she supposed to care about us?

I guess that just showed me something important.

That is you want what you can't have.

And, you don't want what you have.

***

"Louis, where the hell are you?" I screamed as I walked around the woods.

I turned the corner to just see more trees.

Why is this boy so good at hiding?

"Louis, please." I screamed as I felt tears starting to go down my face.

I sat down with my back to an old tree.

The feeling was coming back.

It's the feeling I felt when dad died.

It's the feeling I felt when Zayn died.

It's the feeling I felt when Mom left.

And, that feeling was abandoned.

I tried so desperately wanted to make it go away.

I wanted it to go away, but it didn't.

Why does everyone want to leave me?

What's wrong with me?

I fought the urge to cry.

I didn't want to be sad.

I was just tired of being reminded that no one wants to stay.

But, that doesn't mean that I am sad.

I was doing it again.

Thinking too much.

I tried so hard to avoid being alone.

I never wanted to be alone ever again.

Why was I so alone?

I wanted someone to tell me that they would protect me from my thoughts.

Someone that would always be with me and never let me go.

Someone that would never let me be alone again.

Someone that would always let me cry on their shoulder.

Someone that would actually listen to what I have to say.

Someone that would care about me no matter what.

Someone that would let me express myself in a new way.

Someone that would tell me that they loved me through everything.

Someone that would never lie to me, no matter how much I wanted them to.

Someone that would risk their life to make sure that I was okay.

Someone that would tell me that is it okay to be sad.

And, someone that would never abandon me.

But, of course I didn't get any of that.

All I got was a dysfunctional family, a dead dad and brother, and consistently abandoned by the ones that I love.

I was sick and tired of everything.

Why did this have to be my life?

Why couldn't life just let me be happy?

Why did I have to work for my happiness?

I thought that happiness was given to everyone that deserved it.

Was I not deserving happiness?

Maybe that was the problem.

Maybe that was what is wrong with me.

I just didn't deserve happiness.

It all makes sense now.

It explains why I never got things to go my way.

I just didn't deserve it.

Now, if I could figure out what I did to not deserve it.

After being suffocated by my thoughts, I stopped trying to find Louis.

Wherever Louis was didn't matter anymore.

Sometimes it's okay to be selfish.

It is okay to think about yourself sometimes.

I'm sure that Louis was fine.

He could look after himself.

I cared about him, but I needed to make sure that I was fine before I worried about him.

I couldn't keep letting things get backed up like this.

One problem at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> *Harry's a Girl*  
> *I don't ship Larry*


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry takes a trip down memory lane in order to help her grieve as Louis expresses how he feels for the first time since his brother died.

November 1, 1942: Operation Supercharge

 

Louis didn't come back.

I looked for him again, but he wasn't anywhere to be found.

I should have given up at that moment.

He didn't want to found.

He wanted to remain hidden.

Something in me knew that he was in trouble.

Even if it wasn't a physical threat, It was still a threat.

Early that morning, I quietly left the house without my mom knowing.

I was already grounded.

I didn't want to get into even more trouble than I already was in.

After leaving the house, I went to the last place that I would ever expect Louis to be at.

Zayn's old house.

I knew that he promised himself to never to go back there again.

Frankly, the thought of going there gave me shivers.

I walked past the familiar neighborhood.

The memories came flooding back to me like a ton of bricks.

All the laughs we all once had together.

All the times we played pranks on each other.

All the inside jokes that were created.

This all happened in that house.

Part of me wanted think to that Zayn is just playing another prank on us.

Proving that he never actually died.

As soon as I enter the house, he would be sitting on the couch with his girlfriend on his lap.

She would be hiding her blushing face in the crock of his neck.

Louis and I would be having quiet conversations about how we want a relationship just like them.

We all would enjoy a nice picnic dinner in the yard.

Then, I would spend the evening playing board games with Louis, Zayn, and his girlfriend.

Finally, night would come and Zayn would tuck me into his big bed.

I would fall asleep to the scent of him protecting me from the dangers of the world.

But, I know that I can never get this again.

Zayn is dead.

She moved onto another man.

Louis is missing.

I could never have any of those experiences again.

I quietly walked into the backyard.

My mind flashed imagines as I walked past the untouched garden.

One time Zayn and I had a weed war, where we threw the weeds in his girlfriend's garden at each other.

It was fun until she came home and yelled at the both of us for ruining her garden, but shortly after, she started throwing weeds at us too.

I looked into the window.

Everything was the way that it was like before.

I quietly opened the back door.

When I walked into the kitchen, I felt a sense of safety.

I would always come here when mom would yell at me.

I consistently felt scared to be at home, which caused me to spend a lot of time here.

It was nice to just to have a place where I knew that no one wanted to hurt me.

I felt like this house was my true home.

The little kitchen had the dishes neatly put away into the right cabinets.

The chairs were pushed in around the table.

Even the stove was cleaned.

It felt like the weight of my problems have been lifted off my shoulders.

It felt nice to not have to act my way through the day with a fake smile.

I could finally let go of the breath that I've been holding in for so long.

It was nice.

I walked into the small living room.

Everything was the way it was supposed to be.

I sat on the couch to relax for a few minutes.

Why couldn't everything be like this again?

Why couldn't I always feel like this?

Why couldn't things stay the same?

This house was a symbol of something that wasn't here anymore.

This house was a symbol of a time when things were simpler.

Things made sense and the things that didn't make sense weren't important.

Now everything doesn't make sense and it's all important.

What happened for things to become so complicated?

Why did things have to change?

As I sat on the couch, I heard a quiet noise from upstairs.

I quietly got up and curiously started to walk upstairs.

Someone was here and I think I knew who it was.

I quietly walked upstairs as I continued to listen.

"I'm sorry, but I can't find where he put it." The female voice said on the phone from the bedroom.

"Sir, I'm sorry. I don't know where Zayn put it. Maybe he had it with him where he was stationed." She said with clear frustration in her voice.

The man talked through the other line.

"Thank you, sir. I will call you if I hear anything." She said as she put a box away into the closet.

She put the phone down and sat back down onto the bed.

"Hi, Perrie." I said causing her to turn around to face me.

She got up from the bed and walked over to me.

"Harry, I missed you so much." She said before enclosing me into a hug.

"I missed you too." I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.

She let go of me and I crawled into her lap.

As she dried her tears, I looked at the boxes all over the room.

"How come you didn't come and see me?" She asked frowning.

"Mom wouldn't let me." I said with an apologetic smile.

"Of course that she-devil won't let you do anything that makes you happy. She's a controlling bitch." She said as she shook her head.

I softly laughed at her comment.

"I know right." I said happy that someone finally agrees with me.

"How is she?" She asked playing with ends of my hair.

"She's doing worse than usual. She is drinking more than usual. She is too absorbed in her own life to notice that all her children are missing." I said as I looked down at my hands.

"That's awful of her. Did Child Protective Services come to lock her up yet?" She asked looking down horrified.

I shook my head.

Perrie rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Well, if I could raise you, I would do a way better job than that women ever could." She said as she played with the ends of my hair again.

I smiled to myself.

Having Perrie raise me would be the best day of my life.

Too bad it was never going to happen.

"I would like that." I said smiling at her.

"So, how's Louis handling all of this?" She asked with a concerned expression.

It was no secret that Louis and Zayn was the closest.

Even Perrie knew not to mess that up.

"Oh, Perrie. He is taking it the worst out of everyone in the family." I said starting to tear up again.

She looked down upset.

"Is that why you're here? To look for him?" She asked slowly soothing me.

I nodded my head.

"Did you find him?" She asked with a sense of hope.

I shook my head.

"I can't find him anywhere. I had looked everywhere that I know he would be at. The river, the bar, his girlfriend's house, the old candy store, and here. He isn't at any of those places and I am really worried about him. It isn't like him to run away like this." I said sobbing as Perrie held onto me.

"I'll help you look for him, alright?" She said kindly wanting to help me.

I nodded my head as I took a couple deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Do you want me to get you some ice cream?" She asked when I appeared to be calmer.

A big smile appeared on my face.

"I'll take that as a yes." She said with a childish grin.

I nodded my head and she smiled in response.

"Okay, clean yourself up and then we will go." She said knowing that I needed some time to myself.

I left the bedroom and went into the bathroom.

When I closed the door, I took a deep breath.

There was so much that I didn't understand and there were so many unanswered questions that were always circling in my head.

I didn't understand anything?

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you almost done, honey?" Perrie asked sweetly.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

As ready as I'll ever be.

"Yeah, I'm coming." I said putting a fake smile on my face.

Here comes the real world.

I left the bathroom and went downstairs to meet Perrie.

I sat on the couch and I waited as Priscilla walked out of the kitchen.

"Ready to go, Harry?" She asked with a small smile.

I nodded my head.

She took my hand as we walked into her car.

When we approached the car, she let go of hand and opened the door for me.

I sat down in the back and buckled myself into the seat as she did the same.

"So, Harry, how's school going?" She said as she started the car and drove away from the house.

"Alright, I guess." I said with a brief smile.

"That's good. Are still with Liam?" She asked as she turned the steering wheel.

"Yes, I am." I said as I nodded my head with a grin.

The thought of Liam could make me extremely happy.

It honestly scared me to death.

Perrie quietly chuckled.

"I can tell you really love him." She said turning to look at me and then back to the road.

My relationship with Liam reminded her of her relationship with Zayn when they were younger.

It made me happy to think of them like me, because I found it adorable that they were together at one point in time.

"I do." I said as my cheeks started to turn bright pink.

The car ride continued with her asking me questions about my life in the last year.

I tried my best to be honest with her, because she was probably going to be the only one that cared.

Then, I started asking her questions about her life.

She was a bit hesitant to answer them, but she did anyways.

It was nice just to not have to act a certain with Perrie.

I was tired of trying to be strong.

I was tired of pushing back everything that I was feeling.

I was tired of keeping my shield up for so long.

I just wanted to put it down and express what I was feeling, but I couldn't do that without letting someone see my weak side.

I didn't want anyone to see that.

She was the only person that wouldn't judge me for it.

She is one of the only people that ever saw me like this and I wanted to keep it that way.

Things didn't need to change more than they already did.

Enough has happened in the last few months and I don't think that I can take anymore.

If anything else were to happen, I think that I would run away and refuse to come back.

That means that something bad is going to happen and I wasn't ready for it to happen.

Why can't things just stay the same?

***

Louis’ POV

 

Days went faster than hours.

Hours went faster than seconds.

And, seconds felt like time wasn't changing.

This would be the understatement of the century.

Time was always changing.

Whether I liked it or not.

Time changes and so do people.

We grow older and we are forced to grow up.

But, here's the thing.

I didn't want to group up.

I didn't want people to change.

I didn't want time to change.

I just wanted things to stay the same.

The sad reality is that nothing ever stays the same.

The relationships that I once had were gone.

The people that were once in my life were gone.

The things that I once believed were gone.

It was all just gone.

The curse of time killed what once was the reality of time.

Time used to be a good thing.

What happened to time being used for good?

Now, all time is another reason to regret.

Just another reason to be scared.

And, another reason to be upset.

Now, everyone fears that they don't have enough time.

What happened for everyone to fear the end of time?

Why does time even have to end?

Why does everything have to end?

Why can't things stay the same forever?

What happened to forever?

Does forever even exist or is just another part of our imagination?

Maybe we want forever to exist, because it gives us something that doesn't exist.

Maybe we want to believe that things can last forever, because it gives us hope that things aren't going to change.

That's one thing that us human beings are good at.

Making ourselves believe in something isn't real.

Making ourselves believe in a false reality, because real reality isn't what is desired to us.

The real version of reality sucks.

People die and never come back.

Heartbreaks happen again and again.

We can be upset and alone at times.

Friendships can end for the stupidest reasons.

No relationship will ever be perfect.

Fights and wars happen all the time.

This is the real version of our reality.

No one gets a happy ending.

No one gets what they want.

No one gets to see true happiness, because none of this stuff even existed to begin with.

These are just more ideas that are part of our false reality.

So sorry if your sorry soul actually believed any of this.

The sooner you learn that, the better off that you will be.

Yes, I do actually believe this.

Yes, I have every reason to believe this.

I prefer to not believe your false version of reality.

I feel hurt.

So, I see the hurt of everything and everyone.

I feel empty.

So, I see the emptiness of everything and everyone.

I feel alone.

So, I see the loneliness of everything and everyone.

What you feel is what you see.

So, if you see your life as the best shit ever, then you will see the best shit ever.

I bet not a lot of people actually see the best shit ever though.

People call me upsetting and lonely.

Maybe that's what I am.

Not that I am okay with being upsetting and lonely.

It is just the way that I feel inside, but that doesn't define who I am.

I can't stop the feeling.

I can't continue to ignore it.

That's what got me into this mess.

I have to get myself out of all of the shit that I created for myself, but I don't know how to it.

So, I'm stuck sinking as I scream for help.

I can't seem to get out, but I can't seem to die.

No matter how hard I try, I just continue to fail.

I am just stuck.

Since I am eighteen, I can leave the hell house of all the haunting memories.

I can finally move on with my life, but I continue to stay stuck.

I really want to leave, but I just can't do it.

I am stuck.

Something is making me stay.

I really hate my mother and I want to get away from her.

But, I don't want to leave Harry alone.

I refuse to hurt her the way that I've been hurt.

I refuse to be what Zayn was to me.

I promised myself to never hurt anyone ever again.

I already broke the promise that I made.

I know that I already left her alone by running away.

I broke the only promise I really cared about keeping.

I should have dealt with my problems rather than run away from them.

Not only am I hurting myself, but I am hurting everyone that I care about.

I am doing exactly what mom is doing.

I hate that women with all my heart, but I'm so much like her.

Why couldn't I just get out?

Why can't I let it go?

Why can't I just deal with the problem?

Why can't I learn?

I needed to get unstuck.

I can't be living like this forever.

It is time to move on.

It is time to learn.

I need to make a change, but I don't think I'm ready yet.

I don't think I'll ever be ready and that's not okay.

I feel like I can't do it.

Maybe I can't do it.

Maybe I am making myself believe in a false reality.

Maybe I am truly stuck.

Maybe this is the rest of my life.

I just need to hold onto the past for just a little bit longer.

I'm not ready to pack up my stuff and leave it behind, because, it's all I have left.

It's my only reason left to hold on.

If I let go it, I will have nothing left to catch me when I fall.

I need it to be there when I fall.

When I do fall, I will not be warned.

I need to trust that something or someone will catch me.

Even if it is the reason that I am falling in the first place.

It's hurting me and saving me at the same time.

When I do fall, it will not be pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> *Harry is a female*  
> *I don't ship Larry*


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry learns the truth about boys as we learn a shocking truth about Niall and Liam.

November 8, 1942: Operation Torch begins

 

Today was the day.

The day that every good thing had finally come to an end once again.

It was the day that all the good was gone and there was only bad was present.

The first heartbreak of my life happened.

The world that I had once knew changed.

Things were to be different.

I thought that he loved me.

I thought that I was his everything, but it wasn't like that at all.

He had another person that was his everything.

He had only ever loved another person.

It had ended the way that everything in life ends.

With pain and regret.

I should have known that it was all too good be true.

Love is never anything, but a lie.

The simple I love you's that used to be filled with such happiness were another lie.

The feelings of happiness and joy were another lie.

I should have known that happiness didn't exist.

I lied on top my bed as I sobbed into my pillows.

Why was I so stupid?

Why did I let myself get hurt that easily?

"Stupid boys." I said as I threw my pillow onto the floor.

I wanted this feeling to go away.

Why does everyone always betray me?

"Why did he do that? Why did he do that?" I asked myself as I rolled onto the floor sobbing.

I looked around the room as tears fell from my eyes.

In the corner of my eye, I saw a picture on top of my dresser.

That was picture that we took together on our first date.

I stared at the picture as my heart shattered into a million pieces.

The day that it all started.

I frowned when I saw how happy we were then.

Why were we so happy?

Why didn't I see this coming?

Back then, we thought that nothing in the world could ruin that feeling.

That everything would stay the same and nothing would get into the way.

I got up from the floor and walked towards the picture.

Back then I thought that nothing in my life was going to change.

Little did I know that it all was happening right before my own eyes.

I was just too oblivious to notice anything of it.

I stared at the picture in envy.

Why didn't I see it?

Why did that make me feel so happy?

I picked up the picture as more tears ran down my cheeks.

To the love of my life.  
I love you.  
-Liam

I threw the picture on the ground causing the glass frame to shatter onto the floor.

I fell onto the floor and looked up at the ceiling.

"Why did he do that?" I asked myself before I heard the door open.

"Harry, what the hell are you doing in here?" Eleanor asked worriedly before she closed the door behind her.

I looked up at her and back up at the ceiling again.

"Did Liam break up with you?" She asked before taking a deep breath.

I nodded my head as I stared at the ceiling with a blank expression.

"I figured." She said as she sat down on top of my bed.

"Why did he break up with me? I didn't even do anything." I asked as I looked up at her frowning.

Eleanor sat onto the floor next to me.

"Harry, please move away from the broken glass." She said before she picked me up and placed me on top of bed.

"Harry, sit up and let me tell you something." She said flashing a quick smile as she took a seat next to me on top of my bed.

I sat up on the bed and wiped the tear stains on my face.

"Harry, here's the thing about boys. They don't care about what you feel or think, because it's all about what they feel or think. They will do everything in their power to make sure that their fucking hearts don't get broken. They aren't going to care if you're upset, because you are the woman and you are never going to be as important as they are. To them girls aren't anything, but toys to play with and control. A woman's feelings and actions will never to matter anything important to them. That is unless our actions are hurting the boy, then what we do suddenly matters to them. To prove that they are still in control, they will continuously hurt us. It is just for the reason that they want to be the dominant one. A boy thinks by hurting a girl that she will always go running back to him. He thinks that he owns her and has the right to control everything her life, but he doesn't and he has never owned any part of her. She owns herself and her feelings are important. No matter how shitty that a boy makes a girl feel, her thoughts and feelings are always her own. A boy can't play with the girls heart anymore, then a girl can play with a boys heart. Ella, because you're a girl, boys will come around and try to use you like you're their little toy. You are your own person and no one is allowed to use you. If one does, then I will personally deal with them." Eleanor said smiling at me as she placed her hand on top of my hand.

"Why did he seem so different from everyone else?" I asked holding back tears that threatened to fall.

"In the beginning, they seem like they are different from everyone. You start to believe that all the pain that they have ever caused you is all worth it in the end. All love is a losing game. Whoever is winning is the person to cause all the pain and suffering to the other person. The boy makes the girl have sex with him, because it's all about the game and the sex." Eleanor said as she held onto my hand tighter.

I looked at her and down at onto the floor surrounded by the broken glass.

"Did you and Liam end up having sex?" Eleanor asked causing me to look up at her.

"Maybe." I mumbled under my breath as I gave her a guilty look.

"Harry, you let him have sex with you." She shouted as I looked at her panicked.

I shook my head struggling to speak.

"It's not what it sounds like." I said struggling to explain.

Eleanor looked at me as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"He was only using you to rape you and leave you." She misunderstanding what I trying to explain.

I shook my head as tears rolled down my cheeks.

He didn't rape me.

"Did he hurt you?" She asked looking at me worried.

"No." I said truthfully as I shook my head nervously.

Eleanor suddenly stood up and started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I got up from the bed and held onto her arm.

Eleanor turned around to face me.

"I am going to tell someone." She said as she tried to break out of grip.

What?

"Please don't. You can't go over there." I pleaded holding onto her arm tighter.

Liam didn't rape me.

"Why can't I, Harry?" She asked irritated as I continued to hold her back. 

I shook my head fearfully.

I need to tell her that Liam didn't rape me.

"I'm still going and you aren't going to stop me." She said stubbornly before she broke out my grip and walked downstairs.

I followed her as she walking into the living room.

"Eleanor, you are going to make everything worse. Just please don't get involved with this." I pleaded standing behind her as she placed her shoes and jacket on her body.

Why can't I tell her the truth?

She turned around and placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Eleanor, he made it my problem when he took advantage of you and raped you." She said misunderstanding everything that I tried explaining to her.

He didn't rape me.

I took a deep breath as Eleanor bent down to hug me.

"Liam didn't rape me." I said as soon as she walked away from me and left the house.

Why is this happening?

***

Liam's POV

 

"Did she at least try to understand?" Niall asked fearfully as he lied down next to me.

I looked over at him and shook my head.

"She didn't." I said as Niall hit his against the pillow.

"Why did she have to looking at that second that we kissed?" He asked as he placed his head back onto the pillow.

"Like I fucking know, but there is nothing that we can do to change it now." I said before I rolled my eyes him.

Niall rolled his eyes at me.

"Why are you in such a terrible mood?" He asked as if he was completely clueless.

"You made me break up with my girlfriend, because you couldn't stand how jealous that we made you." I said giving him an irritated look.

Niall cocked his eyebrow confused.

"Liam, I didn't make you break up with her. You just weren't into her anymore." He said cockily pointing out the truth that I refused to admit. 

"Yes, you did." I said denying what actually happened.

"No, I didn't." He said getting more irritated with me.

I shook my head at him rudely.

"How did I make you break up with her?" He asked as he looked at me confused.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Niall, you kept complaining about how I would always talk about her. If you didn't like us together, then why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked looking up at him again.

"I didn't want to make a big deal out of it." He said before he rolled his eyes at me.

"Niall, all you had to do was tell me." I said ignoring the most obvious factor why I even broke up with her.

"It's not my fault that you're gay. It's not my fault that you never had the balls to tell her that. It's not my fault that she found out that you're gay. None of this is my fault." He shouted truthfully as I shook my head at him.

"Well, who was the person that helped me discover that I was gay in the first place?" I asked causing Niall to shake his head angrily at me.

"Stop blaming all your goddamn problems on me. You are into guys and not girls." He said sitting up on my bed as I soon did the same.

"Niall, stop." I threatened him as I clutched my jaw.

Niall got off the bed and I grabbed onto his arm to hold him back.

"I'm sorry that you are in denial of who you are." He said hypocritically as he was the same exact way.

"Why is my sexuality the problem here?" I asked getting offended by his comment.

Niall shook his head bitterly.

"At least that I didn't date a women when I knew that was into dick." He commented rudely before I slapped him across the face.

Niall looked at me upset before he broke out of my grip.

"Don't make comments about my sexuality again." I threatened him defensively.

Niall shook his head.

"You dated her when you knew that she wasn't what you were attracted to. She deserves someone that will actually love her and not use her for a beard." He said before he turned around and walked out of my bedroom.

I sat down on top of my bed in frustration.

Why is this happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> *Harry's A Female*


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody starts to believe a story that isn't true while Harry tries to tell them otherwise. As much as she tries, no one tries to listen to her.

December 31, 1942: Battle of the Barrent Sea

 

I opened the door to my house when I saw my sister and mother sitting on the couch.

"Harry, we need to talk." My mom said sternly getting my attention.

"About what?" I asked as I turned around to face her.

Eleanor looked at me sympathetically.

"Harry, just sit down." She said pointing to the seat next to her.

I stared at the both of them confused.

"Alright." I said as I took a seat next to Eleanor.

Mom and Eleanor stared at each other.

What is going on?

I hope that no one else died.

"Harry, your sister told me something." Mom said grabbing onto my hand comfortingly.

Eleanor put her arm around me which caused me to cock my eyebrow confused.

"What did she tell you?" I asked awkwardly sitting still in their grip.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Mom asked as tears started to fall down her cheeks.

What the hell is going on?

I looked at Eleanor confused.

"I told Liam's father what his pig of son did." Mom said holding onto my hand tighter.

"That he broke up with me?" I asked feeling completely lost.

Eleanor and Mom looked at each other again.

Mom got up from the couch and hugged me as I awkwardly put my arms around her.

"I can't believe someone raped my little girl." She said as she hugged me tighter.

I wasn't raped.

"Mom, Liam didn't-" I started to say before she interrupted me.

"I filed a report to the police and there is going to be a court case in a few weeks. No one is going to hurt my little girl again." Mom said after she finally let go of me.

I shook my head.

"Honey, this is for your safety." Mom said misunderstanding my reaction completely.

"Mom, I-" I said before I was interrupted by my mom again.

"You're going, Harry. That's the end of it." She scolded before she left for the kitchen.

This isn't good.

Liam didn't rape me.

I looked at Eleanor angrily.

"Why did you tell her that?" I asked as I moved off the couch and stood in front of her.

Eleanor looked at me confused.

"I thought that's what you wanted me to do." She asked as she got up from the couch.

That's not what I wanted.

I never even said that he raped me.

I shook my head incapable of saying anything.

Eleanor placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I had to tell her. I couldn't let it stay between us." She said thinking that she helped the situation.

I moved back from her.

"I never even said that." I said struggling to tell her the truth.

Eleanor looked at me confused.

"What are you talking about?" She asked not comprehending what I was trying to tell her.

Tell her the truth before it gets even more out of control.

"Eleanor, Liam-" I started to say before I was interrupted by a knock on the door.

This can't get any worse.

Eleanor walked to the door.

"Come in." She said as she opened the door for the guest.

A man and his wife walked into the house.

Oh, shit.

Those are Liam's parents.

"Is Miss. Tomlinson here? We need to have a word with her." The man said formally to Eleanor.

Eleanor nodded her head and directed the couple into the living room.

"Mom, there's someone here to see you." She called for our mom in the kitchen.

Liam's parents sat onto the couch next Eleanor and I.

"So, what's your name?" Liam's mom, Karen, kindly asked Eleanor.

"I'm Eleanor." She said reaching out her hand for the women to shake.

I looked down at my hands.

"How are you doing, Harry? I haven't seen you in a few months." Karen asked innocently.

"I'm good, Mrs. Payne." I lied to the women with a fake smile.

Liam’s dad, Geoff, stared at me and I quickly looked back down.

As Karen and Eleanor made small talk, I could feel Geoff’s eyes stare into my soul.

He knows the truth.

"Sorry, I was in the middle of cooking dinner." Mom said walking into the living room from the kitchen.

Geoff got up from his seat and shook my mom's hand.

"How are you doing, Mr. Payne?" She asked politely with a smile.

"I just need to talk to you and your daughter." He said sneaking a quick glance at me.

Mom nodded as she took a seat next to me.

"Hello, Mrs. Payne." Mom said shaking the woman's hand.

Karen smiled at my mom.

"Hello, Miss. Tomlinson." She said shaking my mom's hand.

"Please call me Jay." Mom said kindly to the couple.

Geoff looked at me again.

"Eleanor, can you please keep an eye on dinner?" Mom asked keeping her eyes on Geoff.

Eleanor nodded her head and walked into the kitchen as I awkwardly moved away from my mom on the couch.

"Harry, do you remember the date?" Geoff asked suddenly as he got out a notebook and a pen.

I shook my head shyly.

"Why not?" He asked snapping rudely at me.

"I don't know." I mumbled looking down at my hands.

"Honey, she's an eleven year old girl. Don't be so rude." Karen mumbled trying to calm her husband.

I moved behind my mom shyly.

"Sorry, she's a little bit shy." Mom said putting her arm around me.

No, I'm not shy.

He knows the truth and he's trying to scare me.

"She's not shy. She would never shut up when she went to my house." Geoff said rudely looking at me again.

Karen put her hand on her husbands hand.

"She's going through a lot right now. At least try to understand what it's like." She said taming her husband again.

I deserve the way that Geoff is acting towards me.

I'm continuing to go with the lie when I know that it's not true.

Geoff got up from his seat and walked to sit next to me.

I moved back closer to my mom.

"Are you okay, Sweetie?" Mom asked just noticing the way that I've been acting.

I nodded my head as I held back tears that threatened to fall.

I want to leave.

I don't want to be here anymore.

"Can I please go to my room?" I asked in desperation.

Mom looked confused at me.

"I'm not done talking to her." Geoff said looking at me rudely.

Karen looked at her husband sternly.

"Let the girl go to her room. We can talk about this later." She said rolling her eyes at her husband.

As I got up from my seat and ran upstairs, the tears started to fall from my eyes.

Why did I let this happen?

When I got upstairs, I ran into my bedroom.

Why couldn't I tell anyone that he didn't rape me?

As I sat on Eleanor’s bed, I put in a phone number onto the phone near her bed.

The tears fell from my eyes as the phone rang.

"Hello." Niall said from the phone line.

I cleared my throat.

"I needed to talk to someone." I said as I cried into the phone.

"What's wrong?" Niall asked concerned.

Tell him the truth.

Someone has to know the truth.

"Niall, I messed up." I said as I lied down on the bed.

"What did you do?" He asked as he started to panic.

Tell him the truth.

"Everyone thinks that Liam raped me." I said feeling a little bit of relief.

Niall stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Well, did he rape you?" He asked not knowing what to say after my statement.

Tell him the truth.

"No." I said feeling more tears roll down my cheeks.

"Then, why didn't you tell them that he didn't?" Niall asked confused.

I shook my head to myself.

"I tried to tell them, but no one would listen to me." I begged in desperation for anyone to believe me.

"Harry, rape is a very serious crime." Niall said getting offended by what I said.

"I know it is." I said with a bad feeling in my stomach.

"Why would you lie about getting raped?" He asked angrily.

He thinks that I started the rumor. 

"I didn't lie about it." I pleaded as I cried into Eleanor's pillows.

"Then, why does everyone think that Liam raped you?" Niall asked confused and angry.

I shook my head to myself as I cried harder into Eleanor's pillow.

Tell him the truth.

It's his choice to believe it or not.

"Niall, I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I told Eleanor that Liam and I had sex when we were dating and she assumed that he raped me. I tried to tell her that he didn't rape me, but she wouldn't listen to me. Then, she told my mom and she told the police. Liam's parents came over today and his mom thinks that her son actually raped me. His dad doesn't and he knows that I lied about it. Apparently there's going to be a court case against my word and Liam's in two weeks. I didn't even know that telling my sister that I had sex would turn into this. Please believe me." I said as I sobbed into the phone.

Niall remained silent for a few seconds.

"Niall." I said hoping that he was still there.

"I have to go, Harry." He said losing all of my hope.

I shook my head.

"Do you believe me?" I asked desperately as he was about to hang up.

Please believe me.

"I don't know." He said before the line went dead.

This isn't going to be good.

If no one believes me, then it's hopeless.

Why is this happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> *Harry's a female*  
> *I have a good fooking clue how to work this site*


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry faces one of the hardest decisions of her life. Is love worth lying to the world?
> 
> *Harry is a female*

February 16, 1943: Soviets re-take Kharkov

 

The things that you don't want to come tend to come faster.

The things that you want to come tend to take a slower time.

I would be lying if I said that I was ready for this, because nothing could have prepared me for what was about to happen.

I played the scene in my head countless times in the last two weeks.

Some of the scenes played out positively and others played out more realistically.

Right now, all I wanted was for the unrealistic scene to play out.

So, the morning of the event, I woke up to face the nightmare that would turn into today's events.

"Harry, time to get up." Mom whispered into my ear as she slowly rubbed my back.

I pretended to remain asleep as she continued to touch me softly.

"Harry, we have leave for the court house soon." She said still not realizing that I was awake.

Mom got up her position on the floor causing me to think that she was finally going to leave me alone, but instead she took a seat right next to me on my bed.

"Harry." She said louder as she pulled her fingers through my knotted hair.

Mom kissed me on top of my head and soon realized that I wasn't going to wake up causing her to get up from my bed and leave my bedroom.

I rolled on the side of the bed that faced the wall and held onto one of my pillows.

"I can't do this." I whispered to myself, holding back the tears that threatened to fall as I held onto the pillow tighter.

Before I knew it was happening, tears began to slowly make there way down my cheeks.

"I can't do this." I whispered again quieter, letting the tears fall from my eyes even faster.

A knock on the door snapped out of my deepest fears causing me to quickly wipe the remaining tears on my face away.

The door crocked open to reveal a very dark shadow that was shaped like Eleanor.

"Harry, we have to leave soon." She said looking at my body shape through the dark room.

I got up from my bed and quietly turned the light on from the stand next to my bed.

Eleanor quietly watched me as I took out an outfit from my closet and placed it neatly onto the unmade bed.

"What?" I asked her rudely, turning around from the wall to face the direction of the door.

Eleanor walked into the room and sat onto her made bed that was so evenly placed next to my bed.

"Are you okay?" She asked looking concerned, still watching me as I picked out a pair of underwear and a bra from inside of the neatly cleaned closet.

I placed the pair of underwear and the bra onto the bed as I turned my body to face her again.

"I'm fine." I lied quickly, looking back down at my clothes that I placed onto the bed previously.

Eleanor nodded her head still not believing me, but she decided to drop the subject.

I grabbed my pile of clothing from the bed and threw them over the end of my arm.

"I'm going to get changed." I said emotionless, pointing to the direction of the bathroom.

Eleanor nodded her head again, flashing a small smile at me before I walked out of the room into the direction of the bathroom.

As I entered the bathroom, I quickly placed my clothing onto the floor and shut the door behind me causing me to let out the shaking breath that I didn't realize that I was holding in.

I slowly sat down onto the floor and brought my knees towards my chest.

"I can't do this." I said repeating the same phrase, holding in the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes again.

After a few moments of over thinking everything again, I slowly got up from the floor and started to change into my clothes.

As I was getting changed into my dress, there was a knock on the door from the other side of the door.

"What is it?" I asked emotionless, quietly slipping into my dress and reaching to the back dress to zip it up.

"Breakfast is on the table. Come downstairs when you're done in there." My mom said quickly before walking back downstairs into the kitchen.

I quietly sighed to myself after I finished dressing myself, walking towards the door and opening it to let myself downstairs to get into the kitchen.

Upon walking into the kitchen, I was quick to notice that Eleanor and my mom were in deep conversation about something that I could really careless about.

I sat down in the seat that I always sat in and felt the emptiness from the two spots on either side of me that could only belong to Louis and Zayn.

"Morning sweetie." Mom said suddenly, interrupting her important conversation with Eleanor causing Eleanor to give her a quick look of anger.

I faked a smile at her, grabbing a pancake from the small plate that was placed in the middle of the table and took a small bite from it.

"Mom, can you just please do it for me?" Eleanor asked desperately, facing my mother probably continuing the conversation that I rudely interrupted by walking into the room.

Mom placed her hand on top of Eleanor's hand and turned her body to face her.

"No." She said dismissively, letting go of Eleanor's hand and started eating her food again causing Eleanor to roll her eyes.

I finished eating my first pancake and started eating my second, enjoying the silence as everyone ate their food quietly.

After a few silent minutes, mom got up from her seat and placed her dishes into the sink.

"Girls, be ready to leave in less than ten minutes." Mom said sternly, grabbing Eleanor's and I's dishes and placing them gently into the sink.

I got from the seat and walked towards the living room.

"Do you think she'll be okay today?" Eleanor asked my mother quietly, realizing that she was only waiting talk about me whenever I left the room.

"She'll be fine." Mom said softly, reassuring Eleanor by placing her hand on her shoulder.

No, I won't be fine.

Why doesn't anyone understand that?

***

"All raise for the honorable Judge Marshall." A man from the side of the court called out loudly, letting everyone in the courthouse stand in complete silence as the judge walked out of the back door and sat onto his throne in the front of the courthouse.

Judge Marshall nodded his head and the body of people behind me quietly sat back down in their seats, looking between the Payne’s, Liam, my family, and I.

"The evidence that is presented to me states that Mr. Liam Payne is accused of forcefully having sexual relations with Miss. Harry Tomlinson." Judge Marshall said loudly, ignoring the horrified faces and sounds coming from the body of people behind me.

Mr. Payne looked over at my family and I rudely before paying back attention to the judge in the front of the courthouse.

Liam looked down at the floor never to look up once as the judge continued to talk about him and all of the crimes that he was accused of committing.

I looked up at the judge and back at Liam, feeling the guilt build up in my chest by the minute.

"The first witness that will be brought to the stand is Mr. Niall Horan." The judge said emotionless, staring at Niall as he made his way to the witness stand with his head down and his hands in his suit's pockets.

Niall quickly sat down on the seat placed next to the judge, looking over at the judge with fake confidence.

"Mr. Horan, how do you know Miss. Tomlinson and Mr. Payne?" The judge asked seriously, only looking at Niall as he quietly studied his behavior.

"I'm very good friends with the both of them." Niall said calmly, looking at the judge briefly and looking between Liam and I before adverting all of his attention back to the judge.

"How long have you known Miss. Tomlinson?" The judge asked remaining serious, looking at Niall as he briefly looked back at me nervously.

"I met her when she was seven years old and I was eight years old." Niall said truthfully, staring only at me and not looking back at the judge once.

The judge quietly noticed this, but continued onto asking Niall more questions about me.

"When did you met Mr. Payne?" The judge asked uninterested, quietly continuing to observe Niall's behavior without him realizing it.

"I met him when Harry started dating him." Niall said shyly, quietly already regretting that he mentioned the major fact that Liam and I were dating at one point in time.

The judge's body perked up, starting to get interested into the case for the first time yet.

"When did Mr. Payne and Miss. Tomlinson start dating?" The judge asked interested, looking between Liam and I before adverting all of his attention to what was about to come out of Niall's mouth.

"About over a year ago." Niall said quietly, looking at the judge when he speaking him, but looking between Liam and I again after he finished speaking.

The judge nodded his head, showing his sudden interest to the body of people and the jury on the right side of him.

"Thank you, Mr. Horan. You may take a seat now." The judge said quickly, letting Niall know that he got everything that he wanted to know from him.

Niall got up from the seat and quickly walked away from the witness stand, looking relieved that moment in his life was finally over with.

"The next witness is Miss. Harry Tomlinson." The judge said seriously, looking down at me as I got up from my seat next to my sister and mother and walked towards the witness stand.

As I took a seat, the body of people and the jury turned all of their attention towards me.

The judge looked at me, wanting to know more than he knew that I was ever willing to tell him.

"Miss. Tomlinson, Is it true that had a relationship with Mr. Payne?" The judge asked questioningly, looking at me sternly causing me look around the room for someone's eyes to comfort me.

My eyes landed on Liam without me knowing it and I quickly adverted my attention to answering the judge's question.

"Yes." I said simply, not really knowing how to form a single sentence at this point.

"What kind of relationship was it?" The judge asked sternly, wanting me to say more than one word to his questions.

I looked around the room and stared as everyone expected me to know exactly what to say to all of the judge's questions.

"We dated for about eleven months." I said quietly, surprised that I managed to even be able to state a sentence that large.

"Did you ever have sexual relations with Mr. Payne?" The judge asked very interested, knowing that I knew that he was bound to ask that question eventually.

I looked around the room and locked eyes with Liam again.

Liam gave me a small smile and looked away before my eyes could have the chance to respond back.

"Yes, I've had." I said truthfully, ignoring the judgmental stares and noises that the body of people and the jury were all giving me.

The judge pounded his gavel onto the table to quiet the noisy courthouse.

"Was Mr. Payne forcing these sexual relations onto you, Miss. Tomlinson?" The judge asked sternly, wanting to know the answer that I would refuse to tell anyone.

I looked around the room and locked eyes with Liam again.

Liam gave one last small smile before he nodded his head.

I shook my head back to him, refusing to lie and get him into trouble.

"You are protecting me." Liam mouthed to me, looking at me with hope.

I shook my head at him again, refusing to care what anything else thought of me, but only caring what Liam had to tell me.

"I'm getting you in trouble." I mouthed back to him, starting to feel small tears roll down my cheeks.

Liam shook his head at me, never once breaking our eye contact for a second.

"Please protect me." He mouthed in response, giving me another small smile.

I took a deep breath, ignoring everyone that stared at me as I cried silently.

"Anything for you." I mouthed to him, feeling a smile form onto my face before I completely broke off our eye contact.

I looked back up at the judge, noticing him growing more anxious as I continued to refuse to speak.

I took one last deep breath, looking into Liam's eyes again to notice that he looked relieved since the first time that I've met him.

I knew who he was and I was going to keep that from the world.

I was protecting who he was from the world.

In that moment, I didn't care if he lied to me, because it was now my job to protect him from everyone like he always did to me.

"Yes." I said confidently, only looking at Liam and ignoring everyone else in the room.

It was never about them.

It was only ever about us.

"Case dismissed. The plaintiff charges the defendant with charges of sexual assault." The judge said shouting loudly, quickly pounding his gavel onto the table and placing it back down.

The judge ignored the outcry of people and quickly walked into the back room again.

"Thank you." Liam mouthed to me, looking at me one last time before getting pulled out of the room by the guard.

I looked at him one last time before he disappeared, giving him a small smile.

"Anything for you." I mumbled, looking at the empty space that Liam was just in soon noticing that he was already gone.

Anything for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> *Harry is a female*
> 
> -Rachel x


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is able to tell herself that she's happy again. Maybe that's all she needed to hear.

September 2, 1945: World War ll Ends

Years passed by quickly as everything that I once knew changed right before my own eyes. Times changed from an era of fear to an era of courage. No one was the same since the beginning of the war. Everything felt so out of place that there wasn't a simple safe place to call home anymore. There was no longer a home to go to for some people and a home that contained people living inside of it. The world was in the process of fixing a problem but creating one without even realizing it.

In this time, I grew up to see, feel, and learn about everything around me.

The most important thing that I saw was the truth about human beings. Not everything that human beings do is transparent to the world. This lesson was taught to me by old best friend and ex-boyfriend.

I had been close to Niall for so long and have been apart of almost everything in my childhood. I thought that I knew everything that took place in his day to day life. Apparently, he did some horrible actions behind my own back without me seeing it. Niall lied to me in front of my face about being a virgin all those years. He had sex months before I did with the same person. I thought that I knew who he was, but I never knew anything about what he truly felt. He wasn't jealous of me being with Liam, but instead of Liam being with me. He wasn't in love with me after all.

Liam was my precious boyfriend that meant absolutely everything to me. Everything was perfect in every way, but he wasn't ever into or in love with me. He was using me to protect anyone from finding out anything close to the truth. I was only his shield to protect him from everyone that never accepted him. Liam also took my virginity and lied that he wanted to lose to only me. He never meant that I owned his body and he owned mine.

The most important thing that I felt was the loss of the people that I truly loved the most.

The loss of Zayn was like losing the father that I never had in my life. He showed me compassion, loyalty, and love when I needed it. He taught me how to ride a bike, to swim, and to be myself when no one else would. Losing him made it hard to get through life alone without him being there to hold my hand.

The loss of Louis was like losing the best friend that I ever had. He always knew what to say to make me feel better when no one else knew what to do. He showed me that the only way to survive was to fight with everything in my body. He always said that every negative thought can be turned into something positive. He was sometimes the only reason to keep fighting when I didn't know what to do.

The most important thing that I learned was about who I truly was on the inside. I never was the most attractive but I tried to look nice when I was supposed to go out. I never was the most outgoing but I tried a little bit too hard to connect with other people. I never was the most obedient but I listened when the time was right. I wasn't what everyone else wanted me to be in any aspect of life.

Throughout my entire childhood, I asked why I couldn't have something whenever it felt right in my heart. I questioned who said that I couldn't date Liam when he was only was just a stranger to me. I wondered why I couldn't have the family that I remembered having as a young child. I wanted to know why I couldn't feel happy inside even when everything was shattering into pieces around me.

Maybe that's all that mattered at the end of the day. The memories that lived in the past could only stay in the past. Maybe what happened to be the problem was the situation. The problem was that everything that I knew was wrong to the world. Maybe I was wrong about everything that I thought was right and maybe I was okay with that. Maybe things didn't have to be as complicated as people make it out to be.

"Miss Harry?" A voice called out sweetly, making me turn around the chair facing the wall to face the dully lighten door frame.

"Yes?" I asked quickly, closing the tiny book with a sweet smile and straightening the bottom of my grey pencil dress.

"Mr. Horan is here to see you. Should I let him in?" The assistant asked politely, waiting for conformation to say or do anything. I faintly nodded my head and the assistant left to let Niall inside the warm building.

There was once a time of change.

Niall thanked the kind assistant before closing the door behind him. Suddenly, his eyes met mine for the first time in years and our hearts dropped out of our chests. Niall hesitantly walked towards my direction, like I was a stranger to him, and I got up from my seat.

There was once of a time of love.

"I see that you have been successful. Not that I ever doubted that you wouldn't be successful, but you look happy." Niall said cautiously, trying not to damage anything else that still wasn't patched up between the two of us since the falling out.

I took a shaking breath before grabbing onto his hands. "I think that finally can admit that I'm happy throughout all these years." I whispered only for Niall to hear as if it was a secret that I actually was happy for the first time in a long time.

There was once a time of freedom.

Niall nodded his head as if he understood what I was feeling. "I think that I am too, and I could never do it without you being apart of my life. Thank you for being in my life when I needed someone that understood." Niall wrapped his arms tightly around my body as a symbol of gratitude. Thousands of imagines entered my brain in times of comfort and true happiness. This feeling a familiar one that made me miss everything that I once had at all times.

There was once a time for happiness.

"Do you know how much I missed things like this? So fucking much, Niall. I missed you so much." I buried my face into the croak of his neck and inhaled his calming scent. It was a scent of familiar innocence and it was best gift that anyone could ever give to me.

"Happy Late Birthday, Harry. Open it." Niall said before handing me the neatly wrapped gift with my name on it. I grabbed the gift from his hands and slowly took off the paper to reveal the most wonderful gift that anyone could ever give to me.

I looked down at the gift and shook my head in an overabundance of emotion. "This is the best gift that anyone has ever given me. Thank you." I declared in admiration before placing the artifact down lightly onto the desk and wrapping my arms around him again.

"Liam would want you to remember him." Niall said truthfully, smiling down at the ground before looking up at me with tears in his eyes.

"I could never forget him or you. You guys still mean so much more than I could put into words. Even though we all aren't on speaking terms anymore, that doesn't change what I feel for the two of you." I said softly, trying not to cry as Niall kissed me on the cheek and cleared the tears falling from my eyes. 

"Never could I forget you."

Niall left too soon and I was left in peace to finish my thoughts.

Those years were the best year of my life. As everyone else was going through hell, I had the time of life. Despite all the hardships, that was something I never would regret. Nothing about it was ever wrong. I finally found the answer that I looked for so long to know. I guess that I knew it the entire time. Maybe something that's good never has to come to an end after all. 

Sincerely, Harry

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully everyone enjoyed the story! I will be updating and writing more one shots because I'm on winter break. :)  
> -Rachel :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy my new story.
> 
> *Still have no fooking clue how to work this site*  
> *Harry's A Female*  
> -Rachel


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